Recess as Meditation
Many Tuesday Bulletin readers have grown up with me as a parent and educator over the years. We’ve been through a lot together as we navigate the world around us through a Montessori approach.
I’m entering a chapter in parenting where I get to wrestle (again!) with Montessori philosophy; this time it’s about summer programs for my 7-year-old. Montessorians say, “Don’t overschedule! Leave time for your family to take hikes, reflect, paint, be bored.” Meanwhile, conventional summer parenting methods urge, “Give yourself some alone time; you deserve it, Mama!” and “You don’t want your child to fall behind by neglecting to sign them up for [insert sport or instrument or math tutoring].” Talk about mental gymnastics!
I know what I stand by as a person, as an educator. I want my son to have freedom to think, play, and just be over the summer. And for myself, I don’t want to be schlepping him back and forth all over town when I’m not working.Throw in the guilt-tripping about his future success, and I’m a puddle. What’s a parent to do?
Author of “The Four Tendencies,” Gretchen Rubin, published an article in 2020 entitled “The Opposite of Meditation Is…Recess & I Need More Recess.” While the article is mostly about giving yourself a break from the pressure of meditation, I also thought it was a nice reflection on the importance of knowing yourself and what works for you, going into summer. Here’s an excerpt that really hit me:
“I didn’t want to empty or quiet my mind; I wanted to flood my mind with sensations. I wanted to go on a quest though the world, to explore. I wanted new impressions to pour in, in ways that I couldn’t predict, to stir up the unexpected memories, remote associations, surprising connections, and overlooked facts. I wanted to reflect on the present and the future; I wanted to get back inside my body by getting outside my head. I wanted to feel free, to play. ”
To me, this excerpt gives me the permission I was looking for to follow my heart and provide balance for myself and my family this summer. Sometimes, my son will be better suited by consistent baseball practice (sensations, activity, hand-eye coordination, and teamwork) than open ended park time with just Mom. Other times, it will be better for us to clear our weekend calendar and go for a hike or hit the beach than go to a robotics class, even if he loves it.
I’m going into the summer with plenty scheduled, but also the permission to postpone, cancel, or reschedule as needed. We have a few camps lined up, a few vacations planned, but also lots of free time. In that free time, we will use a list posted on our refrigerator of “active” options and “passive” options, shared from UE Guide, Baylen Wagner.
We will decide what our body needs and go from there. I will meditate through movement, journaling, or deep breaths in my room. My hope is that, through all of this, we have a balanced summer that is more-or-less enjoyable
I wish you luck in creating the same balance in your home!
